let's explore one of the big fears behind goals
I'm going to start with a preface. I write this sitting on my hotel bed in Regina, Saskatchewan. I have traveled here for the funeral of a beloved aunt who will be missed by everyone. She had a heart of gold and the kindest smile. The world feels significantly emptier without her laugh and I needed to express remembrance of her warm spirit. Rest in peace Aunt Ruth, I love you.
I mentioned in a previous post that there are times where I have to force my clients to write their goals down. They are hesitant to put in ink what they truly want in life. It's a real blocker for so many of the amazing people I am blessed to work with. I became really curious about this. I always think writing my goals down is exciting! It feels like I am taking the first step towards getting where I want to be. Reading them over made my inner fire burn even brighter. So why do so many of my clients have trouble with this?
I first thought it might be because the goals they were wanting to set weren't exciting enough for them. That they were lack-luster in the eyes of the goal setter. But I'd watch my clients very closely during our sessions - body language often tells me more when I'm coaching than the words that come out of a person's mouth - and I could see how badly my clients wanted that goal. How much they'd light up at the idea of it. So it wasn't that. Then I'd wonder if they felt their goals were too big. Did writing their goal's down make the thought of working towards them feel like they were climbing a mountain?
So I started asking more questions. I got real curious and explored what was going on inside my clients head. And sometimes, it was the mountain metaphor. The idea of actually rocking their big, scary-exciting goals seemed near impossible on paper. To be honest, this actually made me kind of happy. I like those goals, they push you the most. And I'm always around to work out a plan of action with any of my clients. But I soon learned there was more to it than the work involved.
It's no surprise some people hesitate at sharing their goals with others. They feel a sense of accountability when others know about the goals, and they fear letting these people down. But even more so, clients have expressed a deep fear of letting themselves down by not achieving a goal. But it seems this would only happen if they've actually written that goal down. Writing down a goal makes it real, and you feel a greater sense of accountability to you.
Of course, I want my clients to feel this sense of accountability! It's a major driver towards achieving their goals. But I see where they are coming from. When we feel a sense of disappointment in ourselves, the only person we can blame is ourselves. And that sucks. I hear you.
But as I've said before, there's a science behind writing that shit down. It connects your creative right hemisphere of the brain to your logistical left hemisphere. The process allows your whole brain to work towards rocking that goal. So ask yourself, is this a goal you truly want to achieve in life? Yes? Good. Write it down. Or you're sure to guarantee not seeing it happen. And you'll still feel that sense of disappointment. Pretty much a loose-loose situation.
If you're still struggling, remind yourself of your worth. You are worthy of reaching your goals. You are worthy to want them. So work towards them. Reset your outlook. It can be a little scary but hey, do one thing a day that scares you. It keeps you young.
Have you ever felt this way about writing down your goals? Share in the comments below what you think blocks you from writing them down.