put away the guilt when you listen to your needs

You may have noticed, I unexpectedly took a week off. Last week I didn't blog, barely worked on Karuna, in fact barely thought of in a sequoia work much at all. I didn't plan this or announce this. It kind of just happened.

The week before, I traveled to Saskatchewan for three days in order to attend the funeral of a beloved aunt. In doing so, I took three days off from my day job. Last Friday was my convocation ceremony from Simon Fraser University. There was a lot of anticipation, many celebrations and, of course, another day off work. Because of the time I took off, I was working double the amount of hours I usually pull last week. I also thought it would be a brilliant idea to renovate and redecorate my entire apartment immediately after returning from Saskatchewan in the five days before my family arrived for convocation. Silly me.

Without much warning my schedule was packed for a week, filled with physical and emotionally draining events. From dawn until dusk, I had things I needed to do. Something had to give. My body was telling me I needed a break somewhere. Actually, it was screaming it.

So I listened. And I took a week away from my business.

Now, in a sequoia is my baby. You can't just put a baby in a corner and expect it to be a-okay when you pick it up again in a week. I was worried how this time away may effect my growth. There's a lot on the go right now and I doubted I could actually risk taking the time I needed. Which resulted in immense feelings of guilt about stepping away. Until I decided to accept my decision and put away my guilt.

Here's the low down if I continued to feel guilty about listening to what I needed: I wouldn't be sitting in a beautiful apartment because the guilt would likely have prevented me from finishing my home redo. Even if I had finished, the excitement and enjoyment over being in such a lovely home would have been greatly diminished, making those five days of work feel worthless. I wouldn't have enjoyed a day celebrating my academic accomplishments or been able to take in the moment I walked across the stage with my degree finally in hand. I wouldn't have grinned from ear to ear as I spent the evening with the best family a girl could have. And I wouldn't be sitting here, with balloons of my school's colours floating behind me, completely filled with bliss.

My heart if filled with warmth and I am glowing with happiness today because I listened to what I needed. I intentionally tuned in with my mind, body and soul and gave them what they asked. Now I'm set up for a completely awesome summer, feel rejuvenated and cannot wait to move forward with the amazing things in a sequoia is up to next.

Megan te Boekhorst