we don't always know what's up

Things have been pretty quiet at in a sequoia since the one-year anniversary. Weird, right? Here's a bit of the story behind that.

Of course, after throwing Growing Taller, I needed space to breathe and regain balance. Plus some post-event work took place. Either way, I needed to center and devote time back into other aspects of my life that matter.

Except that didn't last long. My day job as PR + Marketing Coordinator went from moderately busy to 'holy crap the work keeps coming' in no time flat. My second role as an Assistant Producer for this massive symposium began relying on me more and more. Time for me and time for in a sequoia slipped away before I knew it, despite what I really wanted.

I told myself I just had to get through my role as Assistant Producer. It was contract work ending in the middle-end of August and then I could return to pushing my business forward. That didn't last long either.

Two major career opportunities were offered to me within 28 hours of each other. And these opportunities came with options, they didn't have to be one or the other. They could be both. But they were big and they would take up my time. Doing both would not allow for in a sequoia to be a priority.

We can create a vision of our life and make a solid plan. But we don't always know what doors will open in our lives. And it can be scary when the unexpected is offered.

I may in theory want to do it all but I reasonably know I can't and quite frankly don't want to in practise. Though it isn't final yet as I haven't shared my decision with others, I know what I have to do. And I know the toll it will take on in a sequoia. P.S. it's not a good one.

In between the craze that has been the last few days as Assistant Producer, I have been reflecting a lot on what is best for the next ten years of my life. What do I truly want to do? What will make me happy? What makes the most sense? I've pondered how the decisions I am making today will affect the future. I'm a planner and a vision maker, so doing this is in my blood. I thrive off having a plan but I am okay when the plan changes. Just because I want to know doesn't mean it's set in stone for me. But not having an idea gives me great anxiety. And right now, I am torn. I don't have a solid idea on what my ten year vision looks like career wise (my other areas are still pretty solid thank goodness or I'd be a mess of a puddle right about now). I don't know how or if in a sequoia fits in. But I desperately want to know, so that I can prepare for it now.

Let's get real honest for a moment. I never really planned for this. For in a sequoia. The goal coaching part yes, but the product line was a surprise. I never truly desired a product line to call my own. It's a romantic idea, but would it really make me happy in the long run? Never really pondered that. It just kind of happened. And the best things in life work out like that some times. Turns out, I make a fantastic line (humility put aside for a moment). People love Karuna. It has by far been the most talked about and desired aspect of in a sequoia. But not long ago it hit me that the product line has never really been a part of the vision. So I've never really thought much about it's future. Bad business practice, I know. But holy crap, big question mark in my life.

This post isn't going to give you the answer to the future of in a sequoia. It was really just a space for me to write out my current thoughts and process. I had hoped it might clear some things up for me and give me some answers. It didn't, but it it's helped. But no matter what, I don't want you to sweat. It's not going away any time soon. It just might take a shift.

Stay tuned for how it all plays out.

Megan te Boekhorst