I Lost a Piece of Myself Since Moving To Toronto
I’m sitting on a full flight, mid-air, traveling back to Vancouver for the first time since 2016. My back is aching, the man behind me is snoring, and a guy in front of me keeps rubbing something on his joints that burns my nose. Due to 14 passengers needing to connect to our flight, we had been stuck on the tarmac - fully boarded - for an hour before take off. Safe to say, I am eager to get home for more reasons than to see my family.
Unable to sleep as I usually do on planes (thanks again insomnia), I have read 141 pages of a 292 page book called Light Is The New Black. Ironically, I had picked this book up the day before I got on the plane to Toronto in 2016, with the idea being I would read it while traveling to and acclimatizing in The Six. Two years later, I grab it as it’s one of the few books left in my apartment I hadn’t touched.
I enjoy and love my life in the city. Living in the core of Canada’s largest city, experiencing the hustle and bustle, falling asleep to the sound of street cars most nights (again, insomnia). I also love the career I have been building while in Toronto, from my work at Futurpreneur to the development of my businesses. But before you go to thinking this is a blog on moving back to Vancouver, I’m going to stop you right there. My calling is still in Toronto for the time.
But as I’ve read the book, and connected with the hippy-dippy parts that are a little woohoo-y for some, I had to face a startling realization: I’ve lost a part of myself since I moved. Where I once regularly took time for the spiritual part of me with crystals and sage, my small collection I brought with me now acts as messy decoration the cat always kicks around. I once thought intentionally with every decision, and considered the greater universe with my choices, I’ve become more rash and ‘just go with it’.
As I invested in my career and my entrepreneurial path, I have greatly neglected my spiritual self. A much more personal self. A deeper self.
This part of myself plays a role in every faucet of my life. And since its been missing, I now realize why I’ve made some of the strange, out of character decisions I’ve made. For some time now, I knew something was missing, but I had no idea it would be something this significant. I need to fix this.
I don’t know how I will reshift and reconnect with this part of myself, but I look forward to spending the next week back in Vancouver working to figure it out.